In just 10 days from today, I was supposed to be getting married. The day that every girl dreams of – May 30th, 2020 had been engraved in my mind since I got engaged last April of 2019. I had a whole timeline strategically planned out. I would finish my Master’s degree on April 20th 2020, go on my Bachelorette trip on April 23rd, get married on May 30th, go on our Honeymoon in June, and come back to reality with a job secured. Boom. But this pandemic had different plans. In March when everything started to heighten, I was holding on to so much hope thinking there would be some way we could make May work. I watched the news religiously to see if the cases would go down and truly didn’t think this could get in the way. I went from feeling angry, to bitter, to sad, to frustrated, to confused, which finally grew to acceptance. Yes, I was so aware that there are many worse things going on in the world, but still felt devastated about the fact that this couldn’t have been worse timing to be having the “year of my dreams”. We have our health, Dusty & I have our love, “love isn’t cancelled”, but for a while that wasn’t anything I could grasp to make me feel better about losing my special day. But it was slowly what allowed me to adjust my mindset – a new mindset of positivity, strength, realizing that everything happens for a reason & to try and put my trust and faith in this process. Along with lots of prayers, tears, and conversations with friends and family. When we finally realized that we didn’t want to make any sacrifices, compromises, or accommodations for the day we’ve both been dreaming of and envisioning since we were young, the decision to postpone the wedding came much easier. However, what we weren’t prepared for was not only postponing once, but twice.
We made the move to pull the plug on our May 30th date and reached out to our vendors, venues, and wedding planner for a new date. September 12th was the only date that worked along with our “MVPs” – Family, Bridal Party, etc. It may not seem like a lot, but ensuring that 15 vendors are available on that date, finding a date that worked for your loved ones, signing new contracts, sending out new “change the dates” – it’s a lot of moving pieces, and also emotionally draining. You put in so much effort and planning as it is during wedding planning – throw a pandemic in the mix and you’ve got yourself a real headache, and an actual bridezilla.
September 12th wasn’t what we had envisioned – we hadn’t dreamt of a Fall wedding, we didn’t want our rehearsal dinner on 9/11, we wanted a Spring wedding in our favorite place – Amelia Island, Florida. But we put those feelings aside. We made the sacrifice of adjusting our honeymoon plans since our original destination of St. Barths would be closed in September. Even September 12th felt so far away, heartbreaking and devastating. It may sound ridiculous reading that, but it really was. Fast-forward to May – September suddenly didn’t feel so far away anymore. And while Florida is slowly going back to some level of normalcy, 80% of our guests are from out of state, and we quickly realized that we would yet again possibly have to postpone again due to not wanting to make any sacrifices or potentially lose a chunk of our guests. We couldn’t ask people to put their health at risk, we didn’t want to hand out masks, and we didn’t want a social distanced-based wedding. That’s not what we wanted to look back on our wedding and remember. We want a cocktail hour, we want our church packed with loved ones. A wedding is about hugs, shaking hands, dancing with your loved ones, wiping away happy tears. We knew if we wanted that dream wedding, we would have to push it again.
We originally planned on reassessing around July and sending a survey out to our guests to see who would feel comfortable flying or being around 200+ people. But did we want to even put people in that position? Every day that passed felt more stressful not knowing what September would hold, not to mention California is still under stay at home orders until at least August….so we reached out to those 15 vendors again, asking for dates that worked in 2021. The date that worked for all vendors, bridal party, and family was April 10th, 2021. The vendors said they’d put a soft hold on it for us, but were transparent in the fact that they can only do that for so long considering right now is when brides are scheduling Spring 2021 weddings. When we realized that we would potentially not only risk not having our dream wedding in September, but also risk losing that April date if we didn’t move fast enough, the decision again became easier. We asked ourselves: what is more important to us? We weighed out the pros and cons, and while it was devastating to wrap our heads around postponing again, and this time to an additional 11 months out, we didn’t want to worry or stress anymore. While I respect so many brides who choose to get legally married and have the celebration later, that’s not what we wanted. We want to experience the entire thing at once, sharing our day with all of our loved ones who’ve been on this journey with us over the course of the past 7 years. We finally decided (sooner than expected) to go ahead and lock in April 10th, 2021. Dusty always wanted an April wedding to begin with, and now we can go to our original honeymoon destination in St Barths – on Dusty’s Birthday. Silver lining! (now he’ll never forget our anniversary, hopefully).
More than anything, this process has taught me not only that love is patient (a bible verse that will 100% be read at our ceremony), but that you can plan all you want in life – it doesn’t always go as planned. I am such a planner in life, so this hasn’t been easy for me to wrap my head around readjusting and dealing with not only the logistics and elements involved, but the emotional aspects as well. BUT – now that we’ve officially selected a date in 2021, we can finally relax, breathe, and actually feel excited again for our wedding. With a 3rd round of save the dates on the way, we’re finally looking forward to our wedding day with more hope & confidence that it will look like what we’ve always envisioned, making less sacrifices and compromises. Third time’s a charm, and I can’t wait to see you, April 10th.
See below for a Q&A video that captures our experience and what our process has looked like